Disabled But Not Disheartened...

Savitri was a very active woman till she was struck by paralysis.  Her movements were confined to her home.  She felt she was a burden to her daughter-in-law Rani, who was a widow.  Rani was working as a housemaid in a nearby house.  She had a pretty daughter - Vidya who was born dumb.  She was admitted in a special school where training was given to deaf and dumb children.

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Savithri was able to get a wheelchair by the generosity of a Lions Club.  After deep thinking, she decided to buy flowers, make pretty garlands and sell.

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Savithri had a pet dog.  She named it 'Leader'.  Leader was so much attached to Savithri that she followed her like a shadow.  Leader was trained to pick up a basket containing a note and money, go to a flower merchant and bring flowers.  Leader's help was a great relief to the disabled Savithri.

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Nearby Savithri's house there was a park.  A small Ganesh Temple was located just opposite to the entrance of the part.  She used to sit at the entrance of the park and prepare flower garlands while having the darshan of Lord Ganesh. She used to spend few hours to sell the flower garlands.  Before she left the place in the night, she handedover the remaining garlands to the priest to adom Lord Ganesh.

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Savithri was able to earn about Rs. 100/- per day after meeting the cost of the flowers.  She was contented and grateful to God for keeping her active and useful inspite of her disability.

./././././././././././././././././././././MORAL... Contentment is a continuous feast.

The power of S.M.I.L.E.

...... much more about this most human of facial expressions.....


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It's 7 AM, and Susan Jenks, a mother of two, would love more sleep, but she can hear her five-month-old son, Angus, rousing in the next room. "I'm hardly able to drag myself out of bed," says Jenks, who, with both an infant and an oldre son age two, is no stranger to fatigue. "But when I look into his crib, and he gives me a big smile, it fills me with joy - and then everything is fine."

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Such is the power of a simple smile. In fact, research over the last two decades has been proving scientifically what aphorisms and popular song lyrics have espoused for eons: Smile, and the whole world smiles with you, and grey skies really will clear up if you put on a happy face.

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"A smile is central to our evolution and one of the most powerful tools of human behaviour," says Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology at the University of California, who has studied the importance of facial expression - including the variety and impact of smiles.

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Anyone who has been around a smiling baby knows how a spontaneous grin helps build kinship, strengthen social bonds and release positive brain chemicals that help us feel good. Standing at a grocery checkout with her sparkly Angus, Jenks is apt to hear a chorus of oohs and aahs as her baby uses his new-found power of smiling to elicit smiles from others.

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CHILD-DEVELOPMENT experts call that positive exchange between infant and adult the "interactional dance," which emerges as the baby's brain develops higher functioning. "A mother and baby exchange smiles in a rhythmic and synchronized way that is important for the development of attachment and intellectual development," says Ulrich Mueller, a professor of psychology specializing in child development. Mueller says studies have found that if a parent responds to a baby's smile with an expressionless face, the infant gets upset. "This indicates how important the caregiver's smile is for the infant," says Mueller, adding that infants of depressed mothers show fewer signs of happiness and smile less often than infants of nondepressed mothers.

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In 1872 Charles Darwin proposed in his book, The Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals, that facial expressions are biologically based and universal among humans and therefore must provide an evolutionary advantage such as building kinship bonds, improving co-operation and helping increase the survival of the species. However, the celebrated anthropologist Margaret Mead thought the smile was a cultural behaviour that varied between societies.

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It wasn't until the 1960s that psychologist Paul Ekman decided to settle the argument. He travelled the world, showing pictures of facial expressions to people of different cultures and found that, even in the remote jungles of Papua New Guinea, expressions like a joyful smile had the same emotional meaning. Ekman and a colleague, Wallace Friesen, then spent eight years creating a reliable way to describe and replicate facial movements so researchers could more scientifically study facial expression and emotion. They systematically categorized 43 separate muscle movements of the face and their more than 3000 meaningful combinations, calling their system the Facial Action Coding System, or FACS.

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"FACS revolutionized the study of facial expression and human emotion,: says Keltner, who did his postgraduate work in Ekman's lab. "It gave researchers an objective language to answer how emotions are mapped onto our face and our nervous systems." Now, with FACS as the base, 18 types of smiles have been identified, such as shy, embarrassed, sarcastic and loving. But the two types that have received the most research attention are the spontaneous joyful smile and the fake smile. The first, also called the Duchenne smile after the 19th-century. French neurologist who first described it, involves two sets of muscles. One pulls back the corners of the mouth and raises the cheeks high, and the other make the eyes crinke. Scientists have discovered that a genuine Duchenne smile is a marker of real happiness. The fake smile - sometimes called the fight-attendant smile-uses only the frist muscle set and is generally used as a form of courtesy.

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In one of his most famous studies, Keltner and colleague LeeAnne Harker coded the smiles of 114 women who posed for their college yearbook photo in 1958 and 1960. All but three smiled, but 61 did the fake courtesy smile, and 50 had Duchenne smiles. Keltner's study found that over 30 years of follow-up, the women who displayed Duchenne smiles were more apt to get married and remain married, and scored higher on tests of emotional and physical well-being. Other Keltner studies have found that people who display spontaneous, real smiles are better able to overcome stressful events such as the death of a spouse, and that couples who show loving smiles when talking about each other release oxytocin-called the caring hormone and association with bonding and reproduction-into the blood.

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Keltner notes that while some people are born with happier temperaments, which set them up for success, others can become happier by being taught how to cultivate a genuine smile. "In the happiness literature," says Keltner, "the greatest association with happiness is connection to others. Teaching smiling is important because it helps us connect."

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Putting on a happy face not only helps us make friends, it translates into altered brain chemistry that makes us feel better. Ekman and University of Wisconsin neuroscientist Richard Davidson used brain scans to show that the Duchenne smile activates some parts of the brain associated with pleasure and happiness, though it does not activate the full pattern associated with these emotions. They found that if people learned how to activate the muscles of the Duchenne smile, even artificially, they could produce similar brain activity.

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Since smiling is so imporant to happiness and social connection, losing one's smile is devastating. Twice in his adult life Ross Main, who operates a guest house in Canada, has had half his face paralyzed by Bell's palsy, a disorder in which the seventh cranial nerve becomes inflamed, probably from a viral infection. " I could only smile with half my face, and the result was this weird grimace," says Main, an outgoing person who became self-conscious and reluctant to go out or meet people. "You don't realize how essential a smile is until you can't do it."

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Main was lucky: Both times his smile returned within three or four weeks. But about 15 percent of those with Bell's palsy never get their smiles back fully. Others lose their smiles through cancer, stroke or injury. Some people, such as those with a facial disorder called Moebius syndrome, are born without a normal smile.

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"My patients have taught me the value of smiling," says Dr Ralph Manktelow, a plastic surgeon. "They say, 'Because I can't smile, people think I am unfriendly, sad, angry or depressed, and I can't show them what I am really like." A smile is a powerful part of our conversation capability. If you can't smile, you are very limited in your ability to pass on information and relate to other people."

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Manktelow and paediatric plastic surgeon Dr Ronald Zuker, co-head world-renowned Facial Paralysis Team in Toronto, Canada, which specializes in the reconstruction of missing or paralyzed smiles. About 150 patients a year, some 50 of them children, come from around the world with facial paralysis. About of these patients are suitable for the microsurgical procedure, in which surgeons transfer a piece of muscle from the leg to the face. The surgeons attach a nerve to the muscle to make it contract and provide a smile movement. The nerve comes from either the facial nerve on the opposite side of the face or a nerve that normally controls biting. After up to a year of nerve growth, patients develop a smile. If the biting nerve was used, patients first learn to smile by biting.

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"With time and practice most learn to smile without biting, and many smile without biting, and many smile without even thinking about it," says Manktelow. "The smile is so important it appears that the brain learns to control the movement of the muscles, and the smile centre takes over to create a spontaneous smile."

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For Zuker, one of the great rewards of his work is to get a thank-you letter - with a picture. "There is nothing better than to see a child you've operated on-holding a bat on his shoulder or in a family photo - with a great big smile on his face."

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SPIRITED KIDS NEED CARE

An all too familiar sight at a mall or a supermarket are kids who seem to be fitted with springs. They jump and dash around from one place to another, kicking up a fuss. Some even decide to throw temper tantrums, bang in the middle of a crowd, even as helpless, embarrassed parents look on.
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Parents of such “hyper active” kids who are often subject to unsolicited advice from pitiful onlookers, on how to be a better parent, will be relieved to know that they aren’t bad parents. ‘Spirited’ children is a term used to describe difficult children who need to be handled with more care than others. “A spirited child has high needs and demands,” explains psychologist Dr. Varkha Chulani. “They get overwhelmed by their feelings and often have meltdowns when they can’t handle or understand what is happening to them. In fact, their ability to express themselves loudly is often a sign that they are more in touch with their emotions than other kids. In spite of being extremely moody, spirited children are high artistic, intelligent, intensely logical, compassionate and goal-oriented,” she adds.
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Since some children are genetically and psychologically different from others, their challenging behaviour is often interpreted as willful disobedience.
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Sugatha Memon, a teacher and counsellor says, “People often think that spirited children are “bad kids”. They resort to destructiveness and ill manners, because they can’t differentiate between right and wrong easily. It is difficult for them to learn to be tactful and polite as they are very straightforward with their feelings. For instance if your child is hitting somebody on the playground, he/she needs to be taken aside and given a warning with an explanation as to why such behaviour will not tolerated by anyone.”
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The key to tackle such children is to understand certain patterns in their behaviour feels Dr Varkha Chulani. “Some children may reject food even when they are hungry because they get used to a pattern of always rejecting food just to throw a tantrum. This behaviour is common and can be triggered by various factors. Parents need to be constantly on the look out for potential triggers,” adds Dr. Chulani.
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Getting these children interested in hobbies also helps them keep calm and occupied, feels advertising personality Prahlad Kakkar. “Its normal for most children to be spirited, joyous and active. However if the child is overtly spirited all the time, then he/she could have a hyperactive disorder. They just need a lot of care, love and attention. Find out what interests them. Physical activity and yoga has tremendous benefits on hyperactive kids,” he said.
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Protect your child from hidden hunger__Deccan Chronicle

According to a study by the National Institute of Nutrituion, about 50 percent of healthy looking school children aged between six and 16 years suffer from 'hidden hunger' or micronutrient dificiency.

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The World Health Organisation calls the nutrients as micronutrients because they are needed only in minuscule amounts (100mg per day), but these enable the body to produce enzymes, hormones and other substances essential for proper growth and development. These include dietary substances like iron, cobalt, cholin, carnitine, copper, iodine, zinc, etc.,

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Consulting paediatrician, Dr. Krian Krishnamurthi feels there's no doubt that changing lifstyle have taken a toll on the diet. "Diets, especially of children, tend to be, high in carbs, refined flour and refined sugar in the form of pasta, pizzas and noodles. They are easily available, highly marketed and advertised, convenient to make besides being tempting. Because of this, and not to mention parental ignorance, children's hunger tends to be satiated with unhealthy calories. This puts fruits and vegetables (the chief source of micronutrients) very low on the priority list," she says.

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T. Raghubani, chief dietician of Mediciti Hospital points out the subtle symptoms and adverse effects of hidden hunger, which may be quite dangerous in later life. "The child may be somewhat lethargic, lack adequate concentration, shy away from sports or extra curricular activities. This inadequate mental growth is due to the deficiency of micronutrients cholin and carnitine. The child may not reach the optimum weight and height corresponding to his or her age, may be anaemic, have a relatively low appetite, develop breathing difficulty due to low haemoglobin count, dip in immunity level and will be easily prone to infection.:

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A balanced diet right from infancy, healthy, energising drinks, giving fast food to the kids as a treat once a week and not daily as a meal are some of the ways to prevent micronutrient deficiency. Mother of two children Kanchan Rajgor says, "I find working parents hardly have time to make wholesome nutritious tiffin for their children. So, most of the times, they opt for easy to cook, instant food. Also, children have a tendency to eat junk food like pizzas, burgers and noodles, which taste good but lack nutritional value. Therefore, I give my kids healthy homemade food that appeals to their taste buds too."

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Dr. Krishnamurthi concludes, "Parents should ensure that the shopping bag looks colourful with all the different coloured fruits and vegetables. Include red, yellow, orange, green and white fruits and vegetables in their diet as much as possible. Also, give your child a wholesome tiffin comprising vegetables Paratha, roti and sabji, or whole wheat bread sandwich."

Kids need life skills

A finishing school is what you need to polish up your manners and teach you the right etiquette for every situation. But regular students need some classes on life skills too. Science, maths and history are essential in any school curriculum, but pupils ought to learn some practical skills - like how to lay a table or knot a tie. Which is perhaps why Brighton College in England has introduced classes to train its wards and prepare them for all aspects of dult life. The teenagers will learn how to read a map, how to boil an egg and how to iron a shirt, among other things. Students in the city could do with a few such classes, feel teachers and parents.

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We look to our parents to teach us life skills, but they are often hard pressed for time. " It is a good idea for kids to learn these basic things, but it's difficult to find the time to teach them," says Deepshikha Yadav, a working mom. "Earlier, we had joint families and there were elders to teach the kids. Now, with nuclear families and working parents, who has the time. It would be better if the schools could incorporate these practical skills into their curriculum. Kids will take it more seriously coming from teachers and it'll be more fund learning with classmates."

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But school authorities too have their plates full with so many pupils to look after, a syllabus to complete and exams to conduct. Mrs Sai Leela Reddy, principal of Oxford Grammar School says, "We don't have the facilities to teach our pupils table manners as they bring their lunch in boxes. As far as personal hygiene and groomong are concerned, it is the responsibility of the parents to see that their kids are well turned out. Parents should ensure that the uniform is pressed, shoes polished and hair neatly in place, before they send the kids to school every morning."

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The fact still remains that children need to equip themselves for life. Picking up some of these skills would be really useful, says Divyangana Choudhary, a class 8 student of St. Andrew's High School. "We do have hobby classes in school but they don't teach us practical skills. I never learned how to knot my tie and my mom does it for me every day," she adds.

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Director of Hamsatech Institute, Ajita Reddy, agrees that kids need to learn practical skills, "When our students foist join finishing shool, quire a few of the don't know hoe to carry out these simple tasks. Nowadays parents give their kids to many facilities don't spend much time with them. That's why they need to be taught these things by professionals," She says.

---------tENZIN dECHEN

OLD IS GOLD

Long ago there live a Kind, who one day decided to visit another land with his people. But the road to that land was long and hard. The day before they started, the Kind announced that all old men be left out. “They will burden us in our travel”, he said. People were greatly grieved but could not go against the King’s order. They feared and obeyed the King. Only one of the King’s men, the young John, did not leave his old father. He and his father agreed that he would hide himself in a large bag and his son would carry him secretly to the land.

The next day the King and all his people moved on. They travelled for a long time through the desert. Men and cattle began to suffer from lack of water. The King sent his men to find water but they came back without finding any. Fear gripped the people. They did not know what to do.

Then John made his way secretly to the horse on which his old father was hidden in a large bag.

“Tell me, father, what are we to do! The people and cattle are dying of thirst.”

And the old man said:

“Set loose a cow and see where she goes. Dig where she stops and starts smelling the ground.”

John did exactly as he was told. The cow put her head low to the ground and roamed and finally she stopped and began smelling the ground.

“Dig here” John said.

The men started digging and in a short time struck a large fountain of water. They all had as much water to drink as they wanted and rejoiced and looked brighter.

“How did you manage to find a fountain head in this arid place?” the Kind asked the young man.

“I followed special signs…” John said.

The people drank, rested and moved on.

One night there was a strong downpour which put out their fire. Hard as the people tried they could not start it again. Suddenly one of them noticed a spark from a bonfire on top of a distant hill.

The Kind immediately ordered that they go to the hill and fetch the fire. The people hastened to fulfil the King’s order. Sitting on top of the hill by the fire was a hunter. The king’s men took burning sticks from the fire and tried to bring them back still aglow. They could not do so for the rain kept putting them out.

It was John’s turn to fetch the fire. He went to his old father and asked:

“Father, how am I to bring the fire back to camp!”

“Don’t take the burning sticks but collect some embers in a pot and thus you will bring the fire back to camp”.

John did as he was told. The people started fires, got warm, cooked their meals. The King ordered John to come before him. John came and the King began to shout at him”

“Why did you keep this a secret so long? Why did not you tell us at once how to go about it?”

“I did not know myself”, John answered.

“So, how did you find out?”

John had to tell the King that he had carried out the King’s orders, thanks to the advice of his old father.

“Where is your father?” the King asked.

“I have been carrying him all the while in a large bag” John said.

The King at once ordered the old man to be brought before him and said.

“Pardon me brother. I revoked my order. Old men are not a burden to the young. The old are wise. Don’t hide any longer! Travel with us openly and happily”.

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