Impatience Of The Future Makes You Miss Present... Queenie-tessential

We jumped into the cab to catch the movie Total Recall.  We were headed for a crowded area called Bugis Junction in Singapore.  "Hurry up, please," my friends told the cab driver, "or we will miss our movie."  The cab driver glanced back at us dismisively and then shook his head.  "I can't go any faster than this.  Can't you see the clazy (crazy) tlaffic (traffic)?"  he said pronouncing his r's as l's and vice versa.  "I could go zooming through if I had a Fellali," he continued.  "In a Fellali I could get you there soon, could even get you to heaven."  He added laughing loudly and nodding at the same time.  "All luch people in a hully to go up, that's why they buy a Fellali" he let out that laugh again.  "Okay, okay," said my friend who was with me getting impatient with his monologue and said that we may not make to the movie, "You drive as you like but we need to go soon and maybe if you focus on the road, we will get there."

***

He looked back at us again visibly amused.  "Only a hericopter can take you through the tlaffic," he nodded "That is the way of the lich.  They are not satisfied, you see.  Even the Fellali becomes slow for them, and then they buy a helicopter.  Soon hericopter becomes slow.  Then they must have a plane.  Money buys everything.  Money buys love," he laughed.

***

It was obvious the man was in pain and had suffered "No money, no honey.  Love cannot buy money, but money can buy love," he forced his laugh this time.  "No money, No love."

***

By now, we had decided not to go for the movie and instructed the driver to take a U-turn and drop us back to where he had picked us up.  I relaxed back on my seat, now no more in a rush and started talking to him.  "What about your love?"  I asked him.  "My wife was my love," he paused for a bit as if suddenly lost.  "I worked hard all day and gave her everything I had.  I bought her a house.  She wanted more.  I gave her more.  But she wanted more and more.  She forgot about me.  She wanted to be lich, and could not understand why she was not lich.  She wanted to leach the sky.  No money no honey," he said, and for the first time his tone became sad.  "But now" he almost shouted "Ican buy a lot of butterfries with money.  I can buy love."  It took me a few moments to understand the term 'butterfries'.  For a moment I argued, "That is not love."  He laughed "What is it lady, what is love?"

***

No doubt, our taxi driver was a bit "touched" in the head, although our conversation was a bit crazy, there was food for thought in what he said.  Suddenly, as if brought back to the present moment about time and traffic, he said, "Nothing is the same any more about people.  See how impatient your friends are.  Train them to be calm.  Do yoga," he laughed "I drive people everyday.  They are stressed about time and traffic.  These things are not in their or my control."  I nodded agreeing.  "Look how much time you and your friends wasted telling me to hurry.  So busy looking ahead that you lost the present."  I could go on talking to him.  We reached our destination.

***

We paid him and I knew I would never see him again.  It was a most interesting journey.  Even though we never reached where we were originally headed.

***

"I am happy now.  I changed my way of life and allowed people who were not happy with me to leave and go to what made them happier.  And now," he laughed again, "there are many butterfries to give me love," looking pleased with his ability to have found peace and clarity - so what if it was through coloured lenses?..............

Discard Mental Baggage _ Mani Shankar

You want to harness the power of your mind to alter your reality, yes?  That's really an invitation to chaos.  Lots of people are in the market, offering quick and easy solutions.  You flow into them with anticipation and excitement.  You follow their prescribed formulae, their chants and utterances, wear their beads, read their books, watch their DVDs, dress as per their code, hang on to their every word, hoping, pleading, fantasizing.  It's a pointless journey, just leading you deeper into delusion.  Years later you find yourself at the same spot where you started - clueless, a bit confused, with a sneaky suspicion that nothing really happened outside your imagination.  Your reality was never altered, you are still the same guy, and the world around you is just as it was.

***

This is the undiluted truth.  There is no quick-fix solutions to altering your reality, no magic mantras you can utter.  Know the frog doesn't turn into a prince with a kiss.  Know the world doesn't change with the wave of a wand.  Know clothes can't make you richer, wiser or luckier than you would otherwise be.  The sooner you start accepting this bittersweet truth, the better off you will be.

***

I said bittersweet because there are two opposing layers inside this revelation.  The first is disappointing when you finally understand that there are no quick-fix solutions.  The second is elevating - when you finally understand that nobody outside you has the power to change your world, and so it's time to get acquainted with that stranger within - your mind.

***

The quality of mind is that it operates at several levels simultaneously.  All you have been able to access so far is the most superficial surface.  This is the world of thoughts, words, hopes, wishes, daydreams and dreams.  Remember, everything you read, hear and see translates itself into mental constructs, as thoughts.  What is a thought?  It's a mental projection of some input you have grasped.  Thoughts are the extension of your senses, they are the first line of defence you have when dealing with the world.

***

Having thoughts are very important.  But there is such a thing called excess of thought.  This happens when, like jungles, they take over our minds, growing wildly, completely beyond our control.  Now the mind starts losing its ability to conjure a thought, consider it and then make it fade it away.  Thoughts start roaming through the mind like bandits, creating havoc at will.  The mind surrenders, eventually becomes a slave of its own thoughts.  Add to this the chaos of the Age of marketing Madness we live in - where everyday you are exposed to a thousand needless desires, baseless fears and mental conditioning.  It's enough to make a sane guy crazy.  But you have already made yourself crazy, and the result is that your fears and hopes create thoughts that recur in endless loops, making you salivate, palpitate, ruminate, agitate and decimate your potential to even address your reality.  Your ability to alter that reality through the mind is now a far dream.   

 ***

The time has come to take you beyond thought, into deeper, purer levels inside yourself.  The time has come to leave this chaos behind and rise into higher levels of being within.  You can't do it by attaching yourself to more books and chants and shibboleths.  You can only do it by gently leaving it all behind - by dropping the mental baggage, until the sheer lightness of being makes you float away.....

The Power of Self... SUDHA UMASHANKER

THE WRITER HAS A KEEN INTEREST IN THE STUDY AND APPLICATION OF SPIRITUALITY AND PHILOSOPHIES FOR SOLVING THE REAL-LIFE PROBLEMS OF THE MODERN WORLD...

***

All great things in life begin with a belief, a dream or vision and a never-say-die spirit.  Youth is an age when one fervently believes one can change the world order and usher in a new way of doing things.  It is a phase in life when one's head is full of dreams, of the peaks one wants to conquer, the goals and targets one is chasing and the unconventional choices one would like to make.  Which is as it should be, for all things worthwhile begin that way.  Remember Martin Luther King and his famous words?  "I have a dream."  And as Napoleon Hill, inspirational thinker, author of books on success, positive thinking and such subjects and who drew inspiration from his son who was born without ears but grew up to lead a normal life, said, "What the mind can conceive and believe it can truly achieve."

***

Focused, single-minded determination and the grit to keep at it even when the chips are down is what ultimately translates to the actualisation of a dream.  As our spiritual masters point out, karmic patterns can be changed by hanging in there and persisting, unfazed by temporary hurdles.  God helps those who help themselves.

***

The way to negate bad karma is simple - do good karma.  In addition, an unshakeable belief in one's ideas, even if everyone around is sceptical or ready to write you off, is also vital.  Patience is yet another virtue work cultivating.  Just like Rome was not built in a day, anything worthwhile cannot be accomplished overnight.  Two important and useful tools in the realisation of one's beliefs are creative visualisation and affirmation.

***

As Shakthi Gawain, spiritual author says, "Creative visualisation is really nothing but using your natural imagination - the basic creative energy in the universe - to create what you want in your life.  The problem is that we use it more to anticipate problems, imagine difficulties and roadblocks."

***

Let's say you are not happy in your current job.  Visualise yourself  in a new (read ideal) job.  Picture yourself at work doing what you love and excelling at it.  Add all the little details, what kind of office it is; the people you are meeting with, etc.  Do it vividly in your head.  If your desire and intention to make a change are clear, the chances are high that it will happen pretty soon.  For creative visualisation to work effectively it is important to relax completely.

***

Explaining how this happens shakti Gawain says, "When your body and mind are deeply relaxed your brain wave pattern changes and becomes slower.  This deeper slower level is called the alpha level while your usual busy waking consciousness is called the beta level.  Alpha level is a very healthy state of consciousness because of its relaxing effect on the mind and body."  The bottom line is when  you want to create real changes in life, using creative visualisation at the alpha level is more effective than operating at the beta level - thinking, worrying, planning and trying to get people around to do what you want.

***

While creative visualisation is more graphic and involves mental imagery, an affirmation on the other hand is a positive statement that something is already so.  It is stating something that you want as if it has already happened.  Like, "Iam attracting all the right people into my life".  "I now have a wonderful new job".

***

Let go of any doubts or disbelief when you use affirmations.  For as Sri Paramahansa Yogananda tells us, "Every negative thought or worry or fearful thought cuts subtle grooves in the brain cells and attracts just what we don't want.  Repeat your affirmations first loudly, then softly and more slowly until your voice becomes a whisper, then only mentally."

***

As you go deeper past your subconscious, you begin to experience a sense of peace and your affirmation goes deeper into the super conscious realm and subsequently influences your conscious desire and leads to the actualisation of your dreams.

***

Refrain from running through the affirmations mechanically but state them with determination, devotion and clarity of purpose.  The best time for affirmations is in the morning immediately after waking or just before bedtime.  Affirmations should be used in alignment with our highest goals and purposes and for the highest good of all things.  While a strong sense of self and "I" are big confidence boosters, one must realise that for affirmations to translate into reality, a strong anchorage in the higher self is an absolute must.  While psychology plays a part ultimately, it's really about the power of consciousness over the body and mind.

***

"IT MAY SOUND PHILOSOPHICAL BUT WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN TRULY ACHIEVE..."

VOW TO CHERISH AND LOVE MYSELF BEYOND ANYTHING.. Mani Shankar

Inspire myself with myself.  Not with hollow words or empty gazes into vacant spaces but with the silent energy of my vital being.  I am my only true friend and companion.  I am both - the alpha and omega - the beginning and end of me.  I know that when I am gone, this Universe I see and know shall have gone with me, yet I recklessly throw away each day without inspiring myself.  Every day when I wake up, I look seemingly whole, but get broken into pieces as the day progresses.  By night, I am torn and fragmented.  All day I don so many masks before the many masks of others, become so many people to so many people, I sometimes don't know who I am anymore.  Enough.  From this day I shall not tear myself out of fear or anger, or if I do, I shall patiently re-join the fragments with love until I am whole again.

***

I shall cherish my family, honour my friends and I shall enjoy this world, but above all, I shall love myself deeply.  I shall love the spirit of life that flows out of my body, the deep intelligence that created me, pumped this heart to feel the gladness pouring out of my being.

***

No. girlfriend or boyfriend, lover, husband wife, father, mother, daughter or son, no books, no website, no text messages, no news, no TV channels or columns of newspapers can ever know me as much as I know myself.  They are my links to the world, but they also sometimes hook me with the bright bait of desire, they make me salivate to wants that are not my wants, make me a slave to passions that never rose from my heart in the first place.  This is the primary seed of confusion, the main cause of agony.  All these desires that are not my desires, these goals that are not my goals - and this madness that arises from the fear that I will never live up to the world's expectation of me.
***
I abandon the expectations of this world.  I shall only live to fulfill the passions that pour out of my own heart, utter words that speak through my own voice and realise desires that bear the true signature of my being.
***
I inspire myself with the rhythms of my own heart.  I shall listen to what it tries to tell me in its soft beats, ask questions and wait till I hear replies in signs, songs and clues, till I feel gently awakened to the desires that flow in the deep rivers of my being.  I shall follow the song of my heart from this day.  I shall only do what inspires me, what motivates me, what makes me deeply happy - for that is the only way I shall be true to myself and this world.
***
The future is never a mystery to those who care to see it clearly infold in their hearts.  I will see myself not only as who I am, but also always as who I want to be.
***
I inspire myself with myself.  Heart with mind.  Action with passion.  And above all, life with love deep enduring love that is the silent energy of my vital being.
***
FROM THIS DAY I SHALL NOT TEAR MYSELF OUT OF FEAR AND ANGER, OR IF I DO, I SHALL RE-JOIN THE FRAGMENTS WITH LOVE UNTIL I AM WHOLE AGAIN......

Makings Of A Great Hero.... MANI SHANKAR

I get up every morning and tell myself I want to enjoy life at office today.  But I end up preoccupied, nervous or just plain sad.  At night, I look back and realise that I failed once again.  Tell me how to enjoy life.  Make it a short answer, something I can hold in my heart.............. -- Divya, Age 26

*** 

Swami Vivekananda once famously said, "This world can only be enjoyed by Heroes."  Nobody said it better.  So, if you want to enjoy your life, be a Hero.  That's your short answer.  Hold that in your heart everyday.

***

Now, for the long explanation.  For starters, "Hero" isn't gender specific.  It doesn't mean a male matinee idol.  It doesn't mean a sports sensation or a rock star.  It doesn't mean the celebrities, the champions or the men we sometimes wished we were.  A hero is none of them.  Hero is actually a state of mind.  It's your response to the world - your reflection of your inner-self.

***

How do you become a hero?  To begin with, be on good terms with all persons, with the world, with the situation you find yourself in right now.  A hero never rages against reality.  She accepts her reality even as she moves to change it.  Anger isn't her favorite emotion.  She is calm, in the face of adversity, has the strength to smile when others feel the need to cry.

***

A hero never compares herself to others.  She knows that there will always be someone better, fairer, sexier, smarter, richer, more successful than herself.  She has the courage to feel good about anyone who is in that list, and has the strength not to let them shake her aim or goal.

***

A hero is interested in her own career, however humble it may seem.  She knows the world has a way of putting down everyone.  She will learn to ignore the world and pursue whatever she does till she does it fantastically well, for she knows that is the gateway to future success.

***

A hero is always looking for virtues in others.  Even though she knows there are more frauds than good people, she is never hesitant to seek and praise goodness, greatness or any other virtue in anyone.  She can do that because she is confident of herself.  Her foundations are rock solid within, and this liberates her.  She is nobody's fool.  When she cuts someone down, it is with minimum force - done with poise and grace.

***

A hero is gentle on herself.  She knows how precious her life is, how beautiful all life is.  She knows she is a visitor to this planet, here on a short holiday, and it's important to have fun in every moment.  So nothing really needs to be taken very seriously.

***

She is smart enough to know that if she doesn't live her present moment in happiness, she isn't likely to live the future moment either. 

***

So look at yourself every morning, Divya, look at the inner self, look at the true your, till a radiant smile spreads across your face.  You know you are a hero.  You will live today like a hero.

***

Nothing and nobody will come in your way, for you hold the keys to your life, and your happiness is solely in your hands.  Now go ahead and have a truly great day.... 

Don't cry over challenges ... MANI SHANKAR...

ANY ONE WHO LOSES CANNOT BE CALLED A LOSER.  BUT THE GUY WHO GIVES UP WITHOUT EVEN TRYING IS  A REAL LOSER
When will our society arrive at a stage where people are not labelled winners and losers?  Why are we always pitted against each other, made to compete for everything?  Why do we make life so damn tough for others?  I need to know this immediately," says 14 year-old Prithvi.
***
Despite the philosophical nature of the questions you have raised.  I am quite sure that one of the three things has recently happened to you:
1.  You performed badly in a test or exam.
2.  Some girl you fancied told you to get lost.
3.  An older sibling, a teacher or a parent scolded you or called you a "loser" for something  you did or did not do.
***
Even if none of these things have happened, get the word "loser" out of your head, now and forever.  It should no longer exist in your vocabulary.  Here's why.  There is a serious difference between losing and being a loser.  Anyone and everyone who loses cannot be called a loser.  In fact, no one who loses can be termed a loser.  But the guy who gives up without even trying is a real loser.
***
We compete for everything because as humans, we are programmed to be eternally dissatisfied with whatever we have.  It's in our nature to fight with each other all the time.  But don't let that worry you.  Conflict is a fact of life.  Better prepare for it.
***
Don't get philosophical and start feeling sad about the world either, for only stiff competition can bring out the best in you, sharpen your mind, strengthen your sinews, make a real man out of you.
***
So whether it's the exam hall or the cineplex mall, you are going to be competing for marks, for chicks, for attention, for practically everything.  You can't get soft on the world and cry about why we make life so tough for ourselves.
***
Life would be boring without the spice of challenge, without obstacles and conflicts.  Imagine if every boy had a proper girlfriend and everyone was going steady all the time... yuck!  Where
s the spice of getting a "look" from someone who is already "booked"?  Life would be like driving a thousand miles on a road that goes straight on a plain flat countryside.  Where's the scenery, where are the bends and turns, the bumps and uphill climbs?
***
If you have absolutely everything you want in life and there was nothing more to aspire for, you would die out of sheer boredom.  If you have nothing in life and have given up wanting any thing, your brain would shrink and wither away.  So stop snivelling about life and become tough.
***
We all need an identity for ourselves.  When you grow older, you need to look back and mark the milestones of your life and say "here is where I wrote my entrance exam", or "on this day I won that trophy" or even "I was wearing this shirt when she walked out of my life", or "on this very place we lost the finals".  All those milestones are nothing but obstacles you managed to overcome, or which overwhelmed you.  Either  way, they are great moments that defined your life.
***
So friend, forget about defeat and victory.  Concentrate on being there and doing that.  In life, even losing something after heroically trying is a very great achievement. 
***
So stuff the philosophy and get your ass cracking.  Sweat it out, bury your head in that book, get your sleeves dirty, whatever.  Just get real with life......
"WE COMPETE FOR EVERYTHING BECAUSE WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO BE ETERNALLY DISSATISFIED WITH WHATEVER WE HAVE.  BUT DON'T LET THAT WORRY YOU.  CONFLICT IS A FACT OF LIFE."
*******************....... MANI SHANKAR.. The author, a film, director, will help the youth strike a balance in their relationships.... 

Allot Worry A Small Slot In Mental Circuit... ANUPAM KHER

The renowned actor decodes the finer nuances of human psyche and behaviour and shows the route to self-improvement...

Anxiety has never been judged as a positive emotion.  It is linked with everything that is worthy of being discarded - nervousness, worry, stress and many more.  People with the anxiety syndrome are not too difficult to detect either.

***

They are tense, edgy, have a nervous look about them and they display a giveaway sometimes.  Like nervously biting their nails, or even chewing a handkerchief.  For them, life is a series of worries; will their child come back safely from school, will their children pass in their exams this year, do you think the maid is thinking about quitting her job?

***

And the worries are not just about the todays.  They stretch into tomorrows and the days after.  Will the children find suitable life partners, will the spouse remain faithful to them when they grow old, what happenes if they contract a life threatening disease?

***

In contrast, there are the what-me-care types; the people who have never known a worry.  They go through life blithely, having never known what a crinkled frown is.  You may think that such people are darned lucky.  But pause awhile and consider the baggage that such an attitude brings.

***

They never review their lives, never look back in introspection - let alone in anger - they just coast along from day to day.  Is this the correct state of bliss to be in?  Certainly not.

***

So you will realise that sometimes what we perceive to be a good state of being is also fraught with a lot of pitfalls.  If the worrier is caught up  in his thoughts and cannot break away from them to carry on with constructive endeavours, the what-me-worry folk may not be doing any mid-course correction at all and may go on from blunders to disasters.

***

Contrary to what we are led to believe, the worrier therefore may actually be sometimes better off than someone who never worries.  The ideal situation would of course be to have a blend of both; to worry just a little, not overtly.

***

Unfortunately, it is the worriers that are always noticed, not the never-worry folks.  Only those close to the latter know that beneath their self-assured facade may lie a lifetime of errors.

***

What does one do to stop worrying all the while?  For starters, one should consciously limit one's worrying hours.  Instead of getting vexed all the time, it would be a good first step to curtail worry time to say, an hour at a fixed time.  That would make the person conscious of his tendency when his mental circuitry gets into the loop.

***

Snap out of it and wait till the appointed hour.  I find this method more effective than telling people to put a blanket ban on putting on their worry caps.

***

And what should those people who are without a care do?  They should stop believing that they are in a state of bliss.  It is time for them to wake up and get real about their life and routine.  As I say, it is time to take a close look in the mirror...... ANUPAM KHER

Hope is the best miracle worker in life... Anupam Kher

THE CHANGE WITHIN

I had written some weeks ago about now different people have different ways of coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.  What is  however infinitely more difficult than coping with death, is coping with near-death.  I am referring to people who are living with terminal illnesses, like cancer, AIDS, or diseases of the autoimmune system which have no cure, as yet.  

***

Not only are many such patients unable to accept reality when confronted with it, but there is a huge proportion of patients who buckle down mentally as disease destroys them slowly, ever so slowly.  Therefore, to help them countenance their fate, almost all such illnesses have large support groups.  That is why in such cases, there is a debate on whether the patients ought to be informed about the true state of their health or not.

***

Last week I met two survivors of the Big C at a funeral occasion.  It was at the mourning ceremonies of one of the most energetic actors of yesteryear, Shammi Kapoor, who crossed the Great Divide.  At the ceremony, I met the scion of one of the country's largest film production houses, who was looking paler than usual.  He was one of the brightest youngsters in the industry and was working on offering entertainment on the internet and also on cellphones.  Now, he had lost some weight and some of his crowning glory.  I asked him what the matter was.  "I am down with cancer," he said starkly.  "But cancer has chosen a wrong victim... I am determined to fight back," he said,with determination in his eyes.

***
At the same place, I also met another woman who also told me about her battle with cancer.  "I read your columns which are filled with hope," she said.  "And now you must write about people like us, and give others who are battling such illnesses, hope..."  So here I am madam.
***

And I realised then that my younger brother Raju too had successfully, and very bravely, waged a battle against cancer a few years ago.  Raju was down with cancer of the urinary bladder and a stage came when the surgeons had to remove his bladder completely to save him.  That entailed him to a life with a catheter sticking out of him and his fluid being collected in a pouch by his side.  Not a pleasant existence for anyone.  But miraculously, the surgeons managed to fashion a bladder from his large intestine, sparing him the indignity of life with a puch.  Raju has been back on his feet since then, busy acting and directing television shows and doing the things he had always been doing.

***

Very often, life does not end with such illnesses.  There are thousands of cases of people who have fought back and overcome such illnesses.  The genius of physicist Stephen Hawking is one shining example.  As I say, a bend in the road is not always the end of the road.............

****
THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF CASES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOUGHT BACK AND OVERCOME WHEN THE DOCTORS HAD WRITTEN THEM OFF..........

Mantras for life... V. Balakrishnan

There are certain people who are always happy and contented.  Sages of the past ascribe to such people certain qualities that enable them to lead pleasant life.

***

Aarogyamaanrunyamavipravaasa...

Sabhirmanushyaissaha samproyoga...

Swapratyayaa vrithirabheethavaasa...

Shadjeevalokasya sukhani raajan...

***

Health, freedom from liabilities, adsence of a situation that compels one to live abroad, the company of virtuous people, congenial occupation and fearless course of life are the factors that leave a person delighted and satisfied.  A healthy mind is said to dwell in a healthy body.  Therefore, one has to keep the body energetic and free from diseases.

***

Liability of any kind is the root cause of tension and restlessness.  One should never borrow money if one is not in a position to repay.  Liabilities distance a person from friends and relatives and a "borrower" is looked upon with contempt and laughed at by his/her own kin and kith.  Hence, our forefathers warned us against borrowing and lending.

***

People leave their motherland at times of utter crisis - it may be financial or some other emergency situation.  But being forced to go abroad and settle down there is a pity since one can never have peace of mind.  Living away from near and dear ones, rid of the solace of one's native land and devoid of one's identity, leave people frustrated.  Such a person never experiences peace of mind.  Being able to live in one's own motherland is a blessing indeed.

***

We all need a job to earn a means of living.  But if the occupation does not satisfy our interests, it becomes a hard chore.  We must enjoy our work, only then can we do justice to it.  Any work which is not done full-heartedly, becomes mechanical, devoid of soul.

***

True friedns or the company of good people who are concerned about our progress promote our well-being.  Their words inspire us and full us with positive energy.  The fellow-feeling one shares with them adds to our confidence.  Hence, the sages say that the kind of people we associate with is a deciding factor in our peaceful existence.

***

While prescribing norms for a joyous and peaceful life, our forefathers did not forget to warn us against the possible flaws in one's character that bring about woes and worries and against which one has to stay alert.

***

Eershoorkhrinee thwasanthushta....

Khrodhamano nityasankita...

Parabhaagyopajeeveecha...

Shadethe dukhkhabhaagina.....

****

The people who keep watching others make riches and fortunes and stay envious of them can never be happy.

***

The sages of the past point out that six categories of people live in permanent dejection - the envious ones, the ones who cannot bear the worries of others, those discontented with what they have, the angry folk, the always-hesitant ones and those who depend on and serve the lucky ones to make a living.

***

The precepts evolved ages ago from long experience and observation, remain true universally even today.___  DR VENGANOOR BALAKRISHNAN is the author of Thaliyola, a book on Hindu beliefs and rituals.  He has also written books on the Vedas and Upanishads.  The author can be reached at drvenganoor@yahoo.co.in

How To Develop A Good Self-Image

We all tend to think too little of ourselves, and so we fail to achieve more than a fraction of our true potential.

***

The self-image is the key to human personality.  Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behaviour.

***

We always act in accordance with our self-image, and our feelings and behaviour are always consistent with this inner picture of ourselves.  This is the blue print from which our subconscious mind works.

***

Be entirely positive.  List only your good points.  Write down the things that you can do.  The things that you are better than others.  The things you are proud of.

***

Constantly work at the idea of a new positive attitude.

***

Be sure, therefore, to picture strongly to yourself the kind of person you wish to be.

***

Mentally see yourself acting with courage and determination in the given situation.  Do this repeatedly and you will soon form a habit of acting courageously.

***

Try to picture yourself as an outgoing, friendly person when others love to be with you.

***

It is the little things you do each day - the way you react to what is happening, how you develop good feeling for others, what you are constantly thinking about yourself, and how this expresses itself through you day-by-day - that gradually builds up your self-image.

**********

GOOD SAYINGS... ABILITY ..

There is something that is much more scarce, something rather than ability.  It is the ability to recognize ability._ ROBERT HALF

***

Do what you can, with what you have, where are you. _THEODERE ROOSEVELT

***

Natural abilities are like natural plants that need pruning by study. _SIR FRANCIS BACON

***

Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability. _CICERO

***

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. _ARISTIPPUS

***

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything. _SAMUEL JOHNSON

***

Since we cannot know all that is to be known of everything, we ought to know a little of everything. _PASCAL

***

Men take only their needs into consideration - never their abilities. _NAPOLEON BONAPARTE

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For a clever child without means, the need may well be to help develop his abilities.

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It is no use having a big bank balances unless one is ABLE to draw on it. _Dr.T.N. KRISHNASWAMI

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Achievement is not always commensurate with ability. _PAUL E. CAMPBELL

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Many creatures have greater ability in one director or another. Arthur Osborne

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People change, as do their attitudes, ambitions and abilities.

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A distorted view of one's abilities can make it hard to cope with the real world. ALISON GARDNER

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The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. _EDWARD GIBBON

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There is great ability in knowing how to conceal one's ability. LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

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Ability is poor man's wealth. _M. WREN

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Ability to concentrate is the prime virtue in any research establishment. _E.F. RUSSELL

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There is no interest without knowledge, and knowledge is acquired by those having ability to acquired it. _EDGAR SCHMIEEDELER

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Ability determines training, and training may give rise to interest. _EDGAR SCHMIEEDELER

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Ability is of little account without opportunity. _NAPOLEON BOANAPARTE

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Ability gives relief to the body as well as to the mind. _A.F. HARRISON

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There is increasing dissatisfaction with disease and disability.

The Spirit of Cleanliness...V. Balakrishnan

BRUSHING OUR teeth is something we do every morning without sparing a second thought.  But like each and every act of daily life, this too had come under the keen observation of the sages of the past.  And like many other daily acts, they prescribed a routine for cleaning our teeth too.

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Accordingly, before cleaning the teeth, one has to hold water in mouth, gargle well and spit it out.  While doing this, bow your head Dto the left side, for there are rishis in front of us and devas on our right side.  As per old beliefs, the left side alone is vacant.

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Now start brushing.  Take a small, green twig of neem, red mandaram, fig or mango tree, beat its head with a stone and brush with this softened end.  this prescription appears in Devi Bhagavatham also.

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However, on certain days like Vavu, Prathama, Shashti, Navami, Ekadasi etc, this sort of brushing is not permitted.  On these days, gargling 12 times with fresh water will do.

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While brushing, mentally chant the prayer:

"Annadyaya vyoohadhwamse somorajayamagamatu

Samemukham prakshalyate yasasa cha bhagena cha

Ayurbalam yasorvarcha: pasuvasooni chabrahma

Prajnjancha medhancha twannodehi vanaspathe"

In Kerala, Sankarasmriti does not encourage people to brush using these twigs.  According to the text, burnt chaff or leaves of the mango tree are preferable to twigs.

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Householders should not brush their teeth on Sundays and Tuesdays.  There is also a taboo on brushing one's teeth on birthdays, Prathipadam.  Chaturdasi etc as well.  However, no such restrictions are binding on Mondays.  It is a must-day for brushing!

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Like wise, the texts warn us not to brush our teeth facing southwards.  You can face east or northeast while brushing your teeth.

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ONE MAY wonder why there are specific instructions with regard to trifles like brushing one's teeth.

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Traditional beliefs and observances have something remarkable in them and that is why they persisted so long.  For one, these prescriptions urge us to do justice to great beings.  And, more importantly, they indicate that no task is mundane.

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In Yajanavalkya Smriti, for instance, bathing is mainly classified into Mukhyam and Gaunam, and these have six and seven sub-divisions respectively.  All auspicious acts are supposed to bath.  Otherwise they don't incur any results.  Hence, one has tobegin the day with bathing.

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However, there is restriction on bathing on certain days like Ahashti, Ashtami, and newmoon.  Likewise, one should not take bath immediately after food, while suffering from diseases and at mid-night.  Dip-bath in water bodies or bathing in medicinal water is recommended.

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While bathing in a lake or river one has to imagine the presence of holy river Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati and worship them uttering the shloka:

"Gangae cha Yamunae chaiva Godavari Saraswathi Narmada Sindhu Kaveri Theertho asmin samindin kuru"

After taking bath, one should stand in water and undertake certain observances to please the deities.  Then drying your hair and body, again as per specific prescriptions, you can return home.

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These restrictions and prescriptions succeeded in ensuring personal and social wellness apart from imposing habits of hygiene on our ancestors......

.................DR VENGANOOR BALAKRISHNANAN... is the author of Thaliyola, a book on Hindu beliefs and rituals.  He has also written books on the Vedas and Upanishads.  The author can be reached at ...DRVENGANOOR@YAHOO.CO.IN.

Cyber Relationships Ruin Real Ones....

With more and more people turning to the online world for comfort, real relationships are being sidelined...........

Chatting, Pinging, Emailing, Twittering and texting - the cyber world is throwing newer forms of connecting with people, every other month.  Innovation, something that usually took years to develop, is now literally taking place with a snap of a finger.  While it is great for technological progress, is it really that great for relationships?

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Many being online interactions with no serious intent except to connect, have fun, network and 'be around" as they put it.  "If you aren't on Facebook you're pretty much an old hat and better relegate yourself to a tomb," say the with-it, who are always connected and available.  "What! You've got to be kidding, you don't know how to twitter?  Get a life babe/dude.  You'd rather have been born in the 16th century," is yet another common perception.  With comments like these, youngsters, who may not be web-savvy, are literally arm-twisted into being "connected'.  They fear that if they don't, they'd be looked upon as 'un-cool" and be the odd ones out.

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What starts off as a way to get familiar with people eventually turns into a dependence of sorts, with people freaking out if their Internet connections are down for even a few hours.  It slowly veers into personal space where couples who usually "communicated" inter-personally, now prefer to sit silently next to each other, busy with his/her laptop "communicating" with an unknown stranger.

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Often, the ramifications on relationships aren't too evident.  Over time however, it eats into special time and before one knows it, one has transgressed into an emotional connect with an online person who "listens", makes no judgments, completely accepts you for what you are and allows you to vent.  Since virtual buddies don't live with each other, it makes it easier for them, to be more accepting, accommodating, tolerant and less complaining about peculiarities.  In this safe haven of anonymity and total approval, people don't even realise how and when they slip into an emotional attachment with a stranger.

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This new age phenomenon of emotional connections in the virtual world is here to stay.  But we have to safeguard ourselves from falling into trap, that to an undiscerning eye, shows no evident threat.  It is a hazard so severe that, if not taken care of, could spiral into something that you can't control.

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As simple as it may sound, developing a solid relationship with your significant other decreases the probability of "online infidelity".  A unifying bond between you two, and putting your faith in similar ideas of loyalty may help you draw boundaries and around what is acceptable and what is not - in both the virtual world or in reality.

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Keeping each other in the loop about to who you connect with and who you interact with on various sites, could be another method to keep a check on yourself.

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Those who swear by the concept of "individuality" would exclaim, "Are we supposed to share everything about our lives with our partners..."  But isn't it a healthier method to share everything with each other, so that you don't fall prey to temptation?  If your intentions are clear, what's there to hide, right?...............

      ..........THE WRITER IS A PSYCHOLOGIST WITH LILAVATI HOSPITAL, MUMBAI..............

FINDING GOD .. the Gandhian Way

A part from being the father of the nation and the driving force behind our freedom struggle, Mahatma Gandhi was also a man whose faith instilled a moral compass of the highest order in not just his followers but anyone who performed public service.  If one observes the Mahatma's life, he or she would understand that spirituality was at the centre of every action undertaken by him.  Liberating the country with his concept of ashima (non-violence) and tolerance, the Mahatma had imbibed the highest ideals of faith in his followers, urging them to renounce the use of force to prove a point and treat each faith with the same respect that they would afford their own.  And it is a well known fact that Gandhi's commitment to religion did not mean commitment to a single religion.  
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Every faith had full freedom and complete equality, and in his prayer meetings his Gita has the same space as the Holy Quran, the Bible and the Guru Granth Saheb.  He spoke of a Ram Rajya because Lord Rama was an ideal, an image that most Indians could identify with, but there was no propaganda in his concept of divinity, and there was always equal space for all faiths.  When Gandhiji was asked about his opinion on God and spirituality he said, "The Truth is my God."
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And it's that universal truth which has inspired the likes of everyone from Martin Luther King Jr to Nelson Mandela.  That truth laid the foundation for the way in which Bapuji conducted his life.  He never really considered himself a religiously or communally inclined person.  Nevertheless in his morning prayers and even in his last breath - his belief in the truth being a manifestation of God was unwavering.

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Once he was asked about the relevance of the phrase Hey Ram in his life.  And he replied that he felt the same degree of peace and contentment when he uttered the phrase that another individual would feel uttering the name of Mohammed.  If both names were capable of invoking a similar effect - that of utmost calmness and fulfilment - weren't they one and the same thing?  It was just one of the pointers to how secular Gandhi was in his outlook.

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On the eve of India's independence, when Sardar Patel and Pandit Nehru unfurled and tricolour at the Red Fort,  Gandhiji was nowhere in sight.  When Bapuji was questioned about the same, he said India would not have achieved true independence until the day the Hindus and the Muslims learned to co-exist in harmony.  He literally lived by the mantra of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam, which means the whole world is one family....

................THE WRITER IS THE DIRECTOR OF THE GANDHIAN STUDIES CENTRE AT BHAVNAGAR UNIVERSITY.....................
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MORE THAN A CENTURY AFTER MAHATMA GANDHI, THE FATHER OF THE NATION USHERED IN THE ERA OF A SPIRITUAL AND HOLISTIC APPROACH TO POLITICS AND SOCIETY, HIS PHILOSOPHY FINDS A MODERN DAY RESONANCE IN ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE............

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.............'''''''''If one observes the Mahatma's life, he or she would understand that spirituality was at the centre of every action undertaken by him'''''''''''''''........................

Only a few people in the world are capable of being silent, meditative..Osho International Foundation

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE says:  All that is needed is to know the art of listening.  Listening to the winds and listening to the clouds and listening to the dancing trees, the falling leaves - utterly in silence, you mind weaving no thoughts, no thinking - is the very foundation of listening.

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It does not mean you have to agree.  There is no question of agreement, because a man like Nietzsche is not so mean that he wants you to agree with him.

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He simply wants you to understand him, and then it is up to you what you do with it.  Agree or don't agree - but at least listen!  There are only very few people in the world who are capable of being silent, meditative, capable of listening.  It is a strange phenomenon: if you can learn the art, it is not a question of listening to my words.  It is a question of the art of listening.  It is within you.

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BEST SILENT IS MEDITATION

Said differently, I call it meditation - just being silent.  Even listening does not give you the accurate description of the state that is needed for you to find the truth of your own self.  But listening is certainly one of the easiest processes of meditation.  And as you become able to listen, you listen to the winds and the rain and the clouds and the whole heartbeat of the universe.  In that listening, you will open up; your bud will become an open rose.

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"I KNOW AND YOU DON'T KNOW" IS INHUMAN

The very idea that "I know and you don't know" is inhuman.  It is uncultured, it is uncivilised.  It may be that I have experienced something that I can share with you, but I cannot denounce you as ignorant.  I can only say, "Perhaps you have missed it, perhaps you have bypassed it.  Perhaps you are innocent and you have not looked at it."  I cannot call you ignorant and propose that I am the knower and you are ignorant and take your dignity, your freedom, your inquiry, and ask you just to believe.

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TRUST IS ANOTHER NAME OF LOVE

Love yourself and love all that is all around you.  there is no need to create chains, there is no need to create prisons.  Love is enough.  But love is not a belief, love is a reality.  It is in your very Heartbeat, it is your experience.  It is not in the scriptures; it is not Christian and it is not Hindu, it is not Mohammedan.  Love is the blossoming of your inner being just like a rose....

                                                                                 Courtesy Osho International Foundation.......

Conquer Ego, Conquer Death.. J.S.NEKI

A great existential truth is the certainty and inevitability of death.  This frail body is destined to be overtaken by age.  Youth comes, but soon departs; when senility descends, it never departs -  only its victim does.  Guru Tegh Bahadur observed, "One might become anxious should something unexpected happen.  But on the worldly pathway, nothing is stable or permanent".

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Yet, we live in this world ignoring the transience of life.  We want to live it the way our whims dictate.  Even the thought of leaving the world in which we have invested our desires, plans and programmes becomes a dread for us.

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There are cultural nuances that determine the intensity of this apprehension.  Someone has said, "Life is for the European a career, for the American a hazard, and for the Indian a holiday".  In the Semitic cultures, one's soul after death is believed to wander around in the dark space until the Day of Reckoning.  That is a highly despairing and frightening prospect.  In oriental cultures that subscribe to the theory of reincarnation, death is at once the beginning of a new life.  So the dread is not always as intense.

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The Sikh view is somewhat different.  It holds that at death, the body which is but dust, returns to dust; that which speaks therein is breath and that returns to wind.  Then the question arises: "Who, in reality, dies?" Guru Nanak tells us:

....What perish are man's sensorium,

His discords and his ego.

That in him, which observes all, perishes not.

And adds elsewhere:

Don't think, I have died - only the demon within me has.  The One who pervades all, does not die...

Guru Arjan Dev, in fact, believes that since atma (the soul is imperishable, no one really dies, no one really can die.

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No one dies; none is capable of dying...

The soul dies not, it is imperishable.

That what you believe dies, does not even exists.

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In the Guru's point of view, not only is life a play, even death is a play.  Isn't watching a good play until its final drop-scene, simply enjoyable?  Should it not be so for life, inclusive of its exit?  Where then is room for mourning?  Guru Amar Das asks:

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For whom should we mourn, O Baba?  This world is but a play!

The mourner is therefore reminded:

The one who now laments will also arise and depart.

When he himself was about to depart from this world, Guru Amar Das summoned his family and, as reported by his nephew Baba Sunder in his famous "dirge", addressed them in the following words:

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O my children, siblings and family, reflect in your mind: 

The pre-ordained death warrant cannot be avoided, the Guru is going to be with his Lord...

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And then, the Guru in this own sweet will, sat up and further addressed his kin:

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Let no one weep for me after I am gone.  That would not please me at all.

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Such a placid departure can be the outcome only of an insight-fully lived life.
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What, then, is insightfully lived life?  Not the one that begun crying, endured complaining and concluded in disappointment.  The aim of insightful life is to be aware - joyfully, serenely and divinely.  It does not hanker after life.
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Hankering after life also subsumes hankering after commodities.  Isn't that simply a vain aspiration?
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This weeping is all in vain; the world ignores the Lord, and weeps for maya.
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Such evils as ostentatiousness, greed, pride, dishonesty and nepotism sprout from hankering after things.  This enhances our bondage to worldliness and pushes the chances for our liberation further and further away from us.  It is such hankering that also creates restlessness and generates fear of death. 
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Those who do not cling to life and care not for its commodities remain spiritually blissful.  They not only live a blessed life, but also earn a blessed death.  Guru Nanak said:
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THE DEATH OF HEROES IS HALLOWED, AND IT IS APPROVED BY GOD.
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One might ask, who are the heroes referred to here?
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Guru Amar Das informs us:
He alone is a brave warrior, a hero.
Who conquers and subdues his vicious inner ego.
"Conquering the ego is conquering the whole world", said Guru Nanak.  This, then, is the requirement for a heroic spiritual life.
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We all think man fears death.  But, in reality, he fears himself.  The remorses and repentances of life haunt him.  One who has no remorse, nor any ground for repentance, has no reason to fear death.  Death, the most dreaded evil for many, is not so for those who are spiritually illumined.  For them it is of little concern.
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Only right living can prepare us for safe or even joyous dying.  Let us, then, be of good cheer about death and know this that no evil can happen to a good man either in life or after death.  Death, be assured, is no evil.  It is impossible that a thing so natural, so necessary, and so universal should ever have been designed by our Creator as an evil to mankind.
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Let us conclude with these lines from Karib:


PEOPLE SAY IT IS GOOD TO LIVE FOREVER,,,,, BUT WITHOUT DYING, THERE IS NO LIFE.  SO, WHAT WISDOM SHOULD I PREACH?  EVERYTHING WORLDLY IS PERISHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME....!