Derail Your Negative Thoughts... ANUPAM KHER

THE RENOWNED ACTOR DECODES THE FINER NUANCES OF HUMAN PSYCHE AND BEHAVIOUR AND SHOWS THE ROUTE TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT...

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One of the enduring issues of contemporary life is that there are too many negative things happening, and too few positives.  Whether you open the news papers or watch the news on television or just look around you, you will see that the number of bad guys far outnumber the good guys.  And the sad part is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the good from the bad.

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In a world bereft of role models, where the mass media confuses rather then analyses, the negatives are coming across as more alluring and exciting; the good is looking boring.  Apart from the obvious confusion of values, the other aspect is the increasing amount of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.

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Last month I met a woman in her twenties, who is in the advertising business and is typical of many people of her generation.  She confessed to me that she was very negative in her attitude; about people, about relationships and about her future.  It was not that she was a victim of some unfortunate circumstances; far from it.  But just looking at the world around her; and at her colleagues and at the entire business of media hyping the wrong people and ignoring the right ones, and had made her sick to her gills.  It had come to a stage where she could see nothing positive in anything that happened to her.

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She is not alone.  Actually, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality.  But the loneliness of the big cities, where youngsters follow dreams, is a recipe for negativism and depression to flourish.  Many people I meet are consumed with depression to flourish.  Many people I meet are consumed with depressive thoughts like, "Nothing good will come out of this interview."  "I can never get this job... I am a born loser."  Such feelings are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangulate the personality they feed on.

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The sad part is that thoughts do not remain mere thoughts.  What is little known is that our thoughts trigger off chemicals in our brains which send electrical impulses across the brain and create neural pathways.  The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts.  So the trick is to break them.

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I have already mentioned in my earlier column the concept of reciting backwards the numerals from 50 to one.  Such an exercise breaks our thought process and forces us to focus on the count.  Another method is to chant a poem or a hymn or a mantra to derail the negative thought.  To break the negative thought process, think of the positives in your life or any happy event.  Like your last vacation, or the fun-filled party you attended.  Or just the happy and warm moments you shared with your family.

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And finally, one of the most important things to do is to have a circle of positive friends who will bolster you with optimism.  That is why they say, "Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are!".................

TO BREAK THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT PROCESS, THINK OF THE POSITIVES IN YOUR LIFE OR ANY HAPPY EVENT.....

Unite With The Supreme Force.. MALLIKA BHATIA

THE WRITER IS A COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST AND A HOLISTIC HEALER.  HER WORK REVOLVES AROUND HELPING PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR FEELINGS...

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So 2012 is here!  We hope you and your loved ones have a brilliant year ahead.  But tell me, what was the first thing you did today after you woke up?  Did you check all the mess left behind after the party last night?  Did you solemnly vow to follow all the resolutions you made?  Or did you pray to God for this year to be fulfilling in all the ways that you have planned?

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Most of us being every new event with a prayer.  It could be in the form of a havan when we move into a new house or office; a simple aarti on a day we consider important and auspicious; salat five times a day, the first of which is also at the very beginning of the day or the mass on Sundays or special days or a paath.

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There are many other forms of prayer depending on our religious and personal beliefs.  Some of us like to pray with rituals, for some it is as simple as lighting a candle or incense and for some others it is just a silent conversation in our minds with our God.  The fact is whatever our form of prayer is, the intention is always the same: for our prayers to be answered.

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Our styles of praying reflect our beliefs and perceptions about God, they also reflect how we internally and externally connect with God and how we connect with ourselves.  Some of us believe that God is a higher entity, somewhere up there, looking at us and our actions, some believe that God is within and we are completely one with Him.  That He speaks to us and through us.  Some believe that God chooses special people to speak to us - gurus, saints.  Even in all these beliefs the common factors is the intent to get what we desire through varied forms of prayer.

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The important thing to focus on is what do we pray for?  Do we mostly only ask for new material possessions like a new car, house or the latest version of an iPad or iPhone?  Or do we ask for learning, growth, success, abundance and happiness?

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There is truly no harm in asking for material things like i-gadgets as long as we remember that the most important and common aspect of all these i-gadgets is the "I".

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If we can focus on the "I" and its growth, we will always get abundance in most aspects of our lives.  Happiness will flow, satisfaction, peace and success will bow to us.

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So when you pray, make sure you choose your prayer wisely.  Be careful of what you ask for because the chances that you might get it are high.

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Pray for yourself and for others.  Value what you have and value the power of prayer.  If you ever find yourself doubting the value of prayer, as its value to the family members of seriously ill patients.  And always remember, I dram.  I achieve, I pray because I am..... MALLIKA BHATIA

A LONE BATTLE AGAINST WAR...Ipsitaa Panigrahi

WRITER-ACTIVIST BINALAKSHMI NEPRAM HAS NOT ONLY GIVEN WOMEN SURVIVORS OF GUN-VIOLENCE A NEW LEASE OF LIFE, BUT ALSO A NEW REASON TO FIGHT.......

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It was Christmas Eve, the year was 2004.  I still vividly remember the events of that day.  The tragedy that befell the Wabgai Lamkhai village of Thoubal district in Manipur left a deep and lasting impression on my mind.  I was witness to the coldblooded killing of 27-year-old Buddhi Moirangthem.  Three gunmen dragged Buddhi from his car-battery workshop, and just shot him.  The entire incident took place within a span of few minutes.  Nobody knew why, who and what led the gunment to kill Buddhi; even his visibly-shaken wife Rebika Akram was clueless.

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Northeast India has been facing the onslaught of ethnic-based armed conflict since the late 1940s.  In fact, Rebika is not the only victim of this ethnic-based violence, the lives of thousands of women have been cut short because of the gun killings of their beloved husbands, fathers or sons, be it by state, non-state actors or unidentified gunmen.

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During my formative years, I thought all this was quite normal.  But witnessing it at such a close range, shook me hard and led me to form the Manipuri Women Gun Survivor Network (MWGSN).  The formal launch of the Network took place on April 29, 2007, in Manipur's state capital Imphal.

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I guess I was born to do something like this.  I remember my father telling me that the day I was born, there was curfew in Imphal.  I now joke about it with my friends, saying that even an Army curfew could not stop me from coming out into this world.

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I grew up in the quaint little locality called Heirangoithong.  The Northeast is home to more than 70 major population groups and sub-groups, speaking approximately 400 languages and dialects.  Insurgency has for long engulfed this strategic region and has held development to ransom.  No other region of India, South Asia or the world must have seen such a proliferation and mushrooming of militant outfits and this region has.

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But it was only when I cam to New Delhi that I realise the enormity of the situation.  I then stumbled upon a UN document that was published in 1997 titled "Trafficking in Small Arms and Sensitive Technologies".  That document combined with a white paper on small arms written by the Canadian government inspired to research the origins of armed conflict and arms proliferation in my society.

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I conducted research for over two years and in 2002 published my research findings as a book titled South Asia's Fractured Frontier (New Delhi, Mittal Publications, 2002).  I found that 57 types of small arms had been identified, which have flooded Northeast India in the past few years.  The weapons came from China, Pakistan, Belgium, Thailand, Russia, the United States of America, the United Kingdom, Czechoslovakia, Afganistan, Bangladesh, Cambodia, Burma and of late, Israel.  The effect of this small arms proliferation has been alarming.  Various young people have taken up the path of gun violence resulting in death, decay and destruction in various fields - Socially, politically and economically.  Every year 3,00,000 people are killed because of small arms.

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MWGSN attempts to lift women from the trauma.  It helps women survivors of gun violence find ways to heal the scars that decades of living under the shadow of guns has caused to the community.  It is the first initiative of its kind in India.  MWGSN assists women in small-scale entrepreneurial work.

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I owe it to my parents and the Manipuri society for what I am now.  I was born in Manipur's soil and despite the difficulties, my parents struggled to raise my siblings and me to do our best for the society.

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I am presently working as secretary-general of India's first civil society organisation working on conventional disarmament called Control Arms Foundation of India.  However, no achievement is enough till peace and development comes to Manipur and its neighbouring states.

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It pains me to see so much conflict, infighting and bloodshed.  I firmly believe that the youth of Manipur and the Northeast region can change the destiny of our region.  Each one of us can contribute in our own little way and to do that, I believe in working with women and the outh.  I spend time in our khungangs (locality) and far off villages to see in what ways we can all work together to help bring about a positive change.  This is true even when I am abroad, say in London or New York, where I keep meeting several Manipuris who live and work there.

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I firmly believe that youth and women have a powerful role to play in bringing about a world that is free from conflict.  Through my research, writing and committed work, I live my dreams of striving for a world that is free from hunger, want and war...  (as told to IPSITAA PANIGRAHI)

VOW TO CHERISH AND LOVE MYSELF BEYOND ANYTHING.. Mani Shankar

Inspire myself with myself.  Not with hollow words or empty gazes into vacant spaces but with the silent energy of my vital being.  I am my only true friend and companion.  I am both - the alpha and omega - the beginning and end of me.  I know that when I am gone, this Universe I see and know shall have gone with me, yet I recklessly throw away each day without inspiring myself.  Every day when I wake up, I look seemingly whole, but get broken into pieces as the day progresses.  By night, I am torn and fragmented.  All day I don so many masks before the many masks of others, become so many people to so many people, I sometimes don't know who I am anymore.  Enough.  From this day I shall not tear myself out of fear or anger, or if I do, I shall patiently re-join the fragments with love until I am whole again.

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I shall cherish my family, honour my friends and I shall enjoy this world, but above all, I shall love myself deeply.  I shall love the spirit of life that flows out of my body, the deep intelligence that created me, pumped this heart to feel the gladness pouring out of my being.

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No. girlfriend or boyfriend, lover, husband wife, father, mother, daughter or son, no books, no website, no text messages, no news, no TV channels or columns of newspapers can ever know me as much as I know myself.  They are my links to the world, but they also sometimes hook me with the bright bait of desire, they make me salivate to wants that are not my wants, make me a slave to passions that never rose from my heart in the first place.  This is the primary seed of confusion, the main cause of agony.  All these desires that are not my desires, these goals that are not my goals - and this madness that arises from the fear that I will never live up to the world's expectation of me.
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I abandon the expectations of this world.  I shall only live to fulfill the passions that pour out of my own heart, utter words that speak through my own voice and realise desires that bear the true signature of my being.
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I inspire myself with the rhythms of my own heart.  I shall listen to what it tries to tell me in its soft beats, ask questions and wait till I hear replies in signs, songs and clues, till I feel gently awakened to the desires that flow in the deep rivers of my being.  I shall follow the song of my heart from this day.  I shall only do what inspires me, what motivates me, what makes me deeply happy - for that is the only way I shall be true to myself and this world.
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The future is never a mystery to those who care to see it clearly infold in their hearts.  I will see myself not only as who I am, but also always as who I want to be.
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I inspire myself with myself.  Heart with mind.  Action with passion.  And above all, life with love deep enduring love that is the silent energy of my vital being.
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FROM THIS DAY I SHALL NOT TEAR MYSELF OUT OF FEAR AND ANGER, OR IF I DO, I SHALL RE-JOIN THE FRAGMENTS WITH LOVE UNTIL I AM WHOLE AGAIN......